


I'm Fine (But I'm Really Not)

by GaHoolianGirl



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Sousuke is just a ball of sad, but i love him that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4246413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could see his outline in the dimming sunlight coming through the curtained window of their apartment. His large body was slumped in his chair, bent over, hands clasped together in the space between his knees. He slowly looked up at Rin.</p><p>"Oh, Rin...your home?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm home. Now tell me what's wrong."</p><p>(Sousuke isn't always whole, and it's Rin's job to put him back together.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Fine (But I'm Really Not)

**Author's Note:**

> Sousuke is a sad child. Oh how I love him so. This was actually inspired by a day when I was self loathing pretty bad, so I put myself in his shoes.
> 
> As always, I started this ages ago, the the tone may have shifted a little bit.
> 
> Also, I'm looking for a better title, any suggestions?

Rin grinned as he took out the keys to their apartment. He hadn't really been home in weeks for training, and was glad to finally get to see Sousuke for an extended period of time again. The door opened with a small _click_ , and Rin stepped inside, gently shutting the door behind him.

"Oi, Sousuke, I'm home!"

Silence.

"Sousuke?"

More silence.

"Babe?"

Rin voice had reached a higher, softer tone, now genuinely concerned for his boyfriend. He could see his outline in the dimming sunlight coming through the curtained window of their apartment. His large body was slumped in his chair, bent over, hands clasped together in the space between his knees. He slowly looked up at Rin.

"Oh, Rin...your home?"

"Yeah, I'm home. Now tell me what's wrong."

It seemed like it was only milliseconds that it took Rin to be by Sousuke's side, hand on the uninjured shoulder. His wound was no longer tender, and affected nothing other than swimming and strenuous activity, but Rin unconsciously was delicate around it. Sousuke's eyes were drooping more than usual with fatigue, and his mouth was unclosed. He was barely holding his head up.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't lie. You can't lie to me."

"Huh?"

Rin leaned down and nuzzled his face into his shoulder, letting his hands roam up and down his sides. "Bed. Cuddles. Now."

"Rin?"

Rin gave a good heave, and got Sousuke on his feet. Pressed against his chest, he maneuvered them to their tiny bedroom, pushing his large whale shark onto the bed, still atop him. He snuggled into him, sighing.

"You can tell me when you're upset."

"Rin?"

"I hate it when you're like this. I like you best happy."

He looked up, resting his chin against the broad expanse of muscle that was Sousuke's chest, "Tell me, please?"

Sousuke was silence for a series of moments that seemed like an eternity, just lying there looking tiredly at Rin. His large hands found their way to Rin's forearms and stayed there, putting nearly no pressure on his arms. When he finally did speak, his voice was low and gravelly.

"I...Sometimes I'll just remember all my failures. The one mistake that took swimming from me. That..." his hands suddenly gripped so tightly that it hurt, but Rin remained silent. Sousuke's voice raised to a yell, "...that almost took you from me. I just feel like such an idiot, so goddamn worthless! I've never been able to do anything but swim, and I can't even do that! I can't help you, I can't even help my fucking self! I'm just...nothing!"

Just as quickly as he had gripped Rin's arms, he released them, his hands sliding down limply onto the mattress. He shut his eyes and, and took a deep breath in through his nose, and exhaled in a deep sigh. He was almost completely still, like a statue, and Rin made no attempt to force him to speak.

Rin was as temperamental, pushy, and emotional as he was when he was 17 now that he was in his late twenties, but he knew that when Sousuke as withdrawn like this, patience was what he needed.

After another short eternity, he spoke up once more. "I'm sorry to just unload all this bullshit on you right after you got back after such a long time."

"Your feelings aren't bullshit!" Rin snapped, but he lowered his voice, after his felt Sousuke shift away, "They aren't. I want to you to tell me this crap, alright? That's how relationships work. And hey, you aren't nothing!" He gripped Sousuke's hands, "If you were nothing we wouldn't be here now. No one's nothing, and especially not you. You don't owe anyone shit. You're you, perfect, and I love you, you got that!?"

Sousuke just blinked in surprise, but his mouth upturned just enough for Rin to know he got the message. He scooted forwards and pressed against his boyfriend again, bring his arms his waist. "You look like shit. Sleep now, and then we can go out for dinner."

"But..."

"No buts, mister! You are supposed to be napping now, so I don't know why you're still talking," Rin looked up at him with a warning look, one Sousuke knew better than to disobey. After placing a gentle kiss on the top of Rin's head, he closed his eyes. Rin waited patiently until he felt his breathing slow, then even out in slumber.

He wasn't always there for Sousuke when they were younger, he knew that much. But something else he knew, as he too fell asleep, is that he would be there for him now.•

**Author's Note:**

> So? I've heard I'm oretty good at wrecking this poor child's life.


End file.
